Parasitic Psycho
by poisonanon
Summary: Find him. Kill him. Simple right? That's what Flip thinks when she's off to assasinate a little half-crazy green insect. But the thing about life is, when you turn your back, it can do funny things behind it. M for Extreme language
1. Chapter 1

Find him.

Two words. Simple. Insignificant.

Two words that changed everything.

Two words that were not meant for my ears. But I heard them anyway. Find him. Find him. Find him. Like a sick, annoying mantra chanting in my head. Find the traitor. Capture him. Kill him. Make sure he doesn't talk.

Fine. Whatever.

I was stationed at one of the space bridges, leaning against the monitors, royally pissed. Do this. Do that. Like some sort of fucking slave. I could be doing something right now. Something worth doing, like shooting someone in the ass with a lethal weapon of some sort. Not in a fucking Autobot disguise playing the fucking nice femme act and giving a flying shit about everything anybody was saying. The manager or whatever was giving me a total rundown of the mech I was supposed to be looking out for. The escaped Decepticon spy convict. Some sort of insect with stingers and a broken speech impediment. The mech I was supposed to shoot through the processor so I can get on with my slagging life. Destination Unknown. Location Unknown.

Shit slagging fragging flip frally whoop de fucking do.

"Widow?"

You have no idea how much I wanted to show that Autobot prick how hard I could punch. Primus, you do NOT know. I also wanted to find Screamer, wherever that little ass hole was, and shove a pole through his aft for giving me that designation. Widow. Widow. Excuse me while I go squish a bunch of fucking spiders why thank you. Aft kissing little sycophant….

"Yes?" I smiled sweetly, clenching my teeth. I am this close, THIS close….

"You're destination is ready," he informed me with his shit-eating grin.

"Super," I smiled, "I'm so excited."

Stepping onto the space bridge platform, before being pulled in, I gave that officious bastard a cheery offending servo goodbye. When I was red-optic-ed again, I was going to hunt him down and remove his legs. Not because he was mean, or ill-tempered, or even slightly annoyed with me, but only because he served as a reminder that I had to pretend to be NICE to someone for the first (and primus please let it be the last) time in my entire existence.

Star had warned me about this alien planet. It was loud, I would have to remain in car mode most of the time, and the habitants…well…as she puts it, it would take the patience of a fragging saint to keep me from trying to wipe all of the off the face of the planet.

Unlucky for them, I was no saint.

----

His name was Wasp. He was green, purple optic-ed, half- crazy, and after a mini-bot named Bumblebee that was stationed on Earth with the rest of his crew. I've heard horror stories about the stockades. It was Star's worst nightmare. It was all of our worst nightmares, that, and being at the receiving end of Megatron's cannon. But even as my processor wondered off to other things, I could still hear Shockwave's voice ringing in my audios. Find the traitor. Make sure he doesn't talk to anyone. Kill him. Hide the body. Poor green bastard. Going through all that trouble to escape. Only to meet up with me at the end of his little vendetta trail.

Coordinates from Star of the Autobots hideout were helpful. Of all the Con's to find them, it had to her. Not that it was negative thing for the Autobots, my sister wouldn't hurt a fly, much less storm into the Autobot base and start shooting things at random. And if they were to go anywhere, I could follow, and they could hopefully lead me to my prize.

Strolling along in my black Camero form, I parked and waited. Kept my sensors open for that small green car. I was a small car as well, when I was stationed on earth as an under cover bot. A '61 VW Bug.

While I brooded, they all sped off out of the back entrance, and I sped off after them. Off to a nature reserve they went, and split up. Great. I'm on a fucking stupid assassin mission and they all lead me away to watch the pretty birds and flowers grow. Beautiful.

I slumped against a large tree in my blue-eyed Autobot form. Wings gone, and it felt so weird.

And that's when I saw him.


	2. Chapter 2

I thought he would be smaller to tell you the truth, but he was the same height as me. Purple-eyed. Signs of oddness. Primus he'd get along with Star, my green-optic-ed twin. He was slumped against a rock, and he did not see me. Oh good. Let's skip the names and chit chat babe, and get right down to business.

Walking slowly, I held up my servo, which was also a smaller pressurized canon that delivered short energy burst. Harmless at the lowest setting of course, but when the power was turned up over the recommended setting…let's just say you wouldn't want to be at the other end of the barrel.

He sat, brooding, glaring at something I couldn't see. It was easier this way. No glares of hatred, just a small, silent death. Worked for me. One servo braced against the floor, ready…aim…

-SNAP!-

_Oh shi…!_

Before I had time to full regret my accident, a wave of static electricity hit me square on the faceplates. And it fragging hurt.

He was on me faster than I thought possible, and slag man, I lived with a pest that thought tickle attacks were the past time of the mega-cycle.

"FUCK, get off you little INSECT." I snarled, punching him hard and he spun away from me.

He landed hard on the ground, and I aimed again. Why do you take so hard to load up useless cannon-

And he was on me again, raining punches down on me and I thought fuck, maybe I should enroll in Autobot boot camp.

I kicked and bit and punched right back and we rolled, in a full out brawl, and I wondered when we would attract attention. And oh shit we were screwed, we were screwed if someone showed up…

A voice from the distance pulled us out of our fighting trance, and both of us scrambled away in our alt-modes. I could not get caught. Capture meant a cover-story, explanations, and too many lies to keep track of. It made things a lot easier if I was never here.

And then I noticed my fighting companion sped away in the other direction.

"HEY!" I snarled, speeding up to meet him, "Pull the fuck over!"

"WASP NO STOP! WASP NOT GO BACK!"

Believe you me, you weren't going ANYWHERE pest.

"I'M NOT AN AUTOBOT!" I shrieked, speeding up a few more feet before swerving and blocking his path. But he. Did. Not. STOP. Oh no, the fragger hit me dead on at a speed I was sure was illegal, which sent us both tumbling onto our backs. He transformed back and I did too. He ran. I followed.

"STOP! HALT! _PULL THE FUCK OVER_!"

"NO!"

"PAUSE THE GAME! REDLIGHT! REDLIGHT! Shit, WILL NOTHING WORK WITH YOU?!?"

"Leave Wasp alone!"

I could not take it. I won't. I won't. Enough with this secrecy shit. Time for the cavalry.

**WINGS ACTIVATED**

Primus, it felt so good to be able to feel the wind on me again. I did a few lazy loops in the sky, before I caught him in my claws, and threw him to the floor.

"I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS! DON'T THINK I WON'T!" I snarled at him and he tried to land a blow on me again.

"Let Wasp go!"

"Go ahead! Keep squirming! You're arms will be first if that's what you want."

He continued, and I just pouted and glared.

_Just shoot him now._

He snarled and swore at me, but only half-heartedly. He could see it. My eyes. They betrayed me. It showed him that I was cable of the threats. And more. He just couldn't tell if I would decide to do it.

_It always amounted to this, didn't it? Shockwave was smart, using me as a killer. Because I was homicidal Flip. Didn't give a damn about killing an innocent creature. I killed things for less then that. No one thought any less of me because I killed on a whim. But I did. _

He stared at me with those purple optics of his, uncertain, struggling harder. He desperately wanted to get away from me.

_A monster. That's all I was EVER going to be. But this wasn't a whim. This was an order. I couldn't put the weapon down. _

But I shook.

Wasp screamed at me to get off of him. He shrieked and cursed.

_Huh, funny how I could find an excuse for murder. He deserved it. She was a bitch. He was annoying me. He made me want to vomit. I'm supposed to. She asked me to. I was ORDERED._

The mech under me was no different from all the other. An assignment. An enemy. And he was beginning to make me work for his imprisonment, and I could feel that he was slipping out of my grasp.

_He was pathetic, a waste of space, something that should be wiped from existence. The most annoying thing that ever walked the universe. He was so useless, so stupid. I wanted to kill him. Not because I was ordered to, but because in that moment, I never hated something so much with all my being. _

"GET OFF WASP! WHY CAN'T BOT LEAVE WASP ALONE! LEAVE WASP ALONE!"

_I couldn't see him. I was shaking to much. I wanted to kill him. Primus, I wanted to kill him so bad. I wanted to lean over him, watch his purple optics turn to purple to grey. I wanted him to be unmoving. I wanted his armor be cool to my touch. I wanted him dead. I didn't even want screams of pain. I didn't want it to hurt. I just wanted it to be snatched._

"Primus, can't you stop your unnecessary rants for one nano-click?" I shook my head, a look of amusement on my face.

_I don't want to be a monster._

He shut up, finally, before I slid off him and gave him his space, dusting myself off. "Wasn't going to hurt you. Don't see why you're so fragging tense, stupid insect."

He snarled, jumping to his feet, "You sneak up on Wasp! Try to hurt Wasp! Chase Wasp, when Wasp want to be alone! Leave Wasp alone!"

"You attacked me first." I narrowed my optics at him, "And I was not 'sneaking up.' My movements were totally un-sneaky. I was crawling very normally."

"Who are you?" he asked suspiciously, "And what does bot want with Wasp, if bot come un-sneaky to Wasp. No lie."

"Of course not," I smiled, "The designation's Flip, and I just so happened to get lost in this sector. I got separated from my sister, Stargazer. You heard of her?"

"No, and I no hear of Flip-bot either. Wasp suspicious."

He didn't know Star. Good. He must have been locked up for a long time, since it was common knowledge among Autobots that she was the biggest fuck-up this side of the galaxy.

"Well, don't be," I smirked, "Wasp."

"Wasp think Flip-bot Decepticon. Flip-bot scream out she not Autobot during chase. And Flip-bot fly."

"It was a recent up-grade. And I'm neither for your information. I'm a neutral," I gave him a condescending grin, as if I was better than him because of it, "And I wanted to ask what was the quickest way back to Cybertron."

"No way." He glowered at me, "Take too long. Flip-bot run out of energon before come in contact with another ship." He paused for a moment, and then said aloud, "I no know of Flip-bot, but does Flip-bot know Wasp?"

This was a sticky question I had wanted to avoid. No, he leaves me to the Autobots, who may recognize me do to the similar structure between me and Star. I say yes, he may try to offline me. But if I broke it to him gently….

"I do," I admitted, "And I realize that you may want to offline me because of this, but-"

He seemed pained to say it, but it came out nonetheless, "Wasp is Autobot. Autobot not killer. Wasp not traitor."

"And yet you're after the bee with the stingers. Have I been reading the reports wrong, are have you flown all the way to Earth just to bitch-slap the bumbler?" I blurted out.

"Wasp want revenge." He said simply, with a heavy trace of hate in his voice.

"Yeah," I sighed, "That's nice and all, and we all have our demons…" (truth) "…So I guess we're stuck together, huh?"

"Flip-bot stuck with Wasp?"

"Yeah, sure! I mean, I haven't the cleanest record myself to tell you the truth, and quite honestly, Autobots get on my nerves. No offence. So you're pretty much my only option. Not that it's a problem, is it?"

He wanted to say no, I knew he did. But he was an Autobot, and they were all the same underneath. They could never say no.

"No problem. Wasp let Flip-bot stay."

I grasped his servo and shook it, smiling my shit-eating grin and playing it for what it was worth. "Great. We're friends now."

"Friends?"

"Friends."

-----

Friends of Wasp were not unconditional, as I soon learned. He brought me to the cave he was hiding out in, and told me bluntly what he had in mind for me.

"Flip-bot help Wasp with revenge."

"Uh-huh?"

"Wasp get revenge. Wasp attack Bumble-bot. Rip Bumble-bot's limbs, make Bumble-bot suffer. Bumble-bot feel what Wasp feel, and then Bumble-bot feel sorry. Then Wasp forgive."

I crossed my arms and leaned against the cave walls, "And then?"

Wasp did not turn to look at me, "Wasp no think of that part yet."

There was an uncomfortable silence after that, so I cleared my vocals, "And what about me?"

"You distract Autobots. No worry. They no hurt you. Confused by rain. Mess with frequency. Then Wasp get revenge. We come back here, and figure out rest."

"I see."

"Do you?"

It was a loaded question. One I wasn't prepared to answer. Being with him this long was bad. Too many emotional ties. I couldn't lie forever. And I had to complete the mission sometime. This…whatever it was…it couldn't last forever. It was just a… minor setback. But it would have to end.

All good things do.

"I said I did, didn't I?" I snapped.

He didn't push me, only nodded.

It was too much to ask in the first place.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a dark night. Nights I usually enjoyed, but at the moment I didn't. For one, Wasp was nowhere to be seen. He was only going to slag the bee. Where the hell was he? He was gone to long for my liking.

It did not help that I was supposed to be the distraction, which included me driving around like a maniac and hitting everything I could. Sirens blared behind me. And then I felt the ground disappear under me.

"Wha?!?!"

Someone had picked me up. Someone was flying.

"THE SHIT!?" I transformed back and clawed at my assaulter. A little yellow jet I had never seen before. But the flight pattern. The speed. It was so similar….

"OW!" He cried out and let me go. I looked down at the ground beneath me, and realization hit me. If I wanted to keep my legs….

****

WINGS ACTIVATED

"EAT IT!" I snarled, kicking the jet in the face as he pursued me. I flew away as fast as I could, but they were faster. Few were faster then me, and it made me reluctant to attack. I was used to this flight pattern. It was comforting, almost like home.

"CATCH HER!" Snarled a _very_ familiar voice, and the feeling was gone and spent. That voice was not home.

"SLAG YOU!" And the hands grasped me, and pulled me down reluctantly.

"She is feisty one brother!" said one in a horrible human accent, "Watch out for claws. She is not so lenient with violence."

"Understood brother," came the reply with an equally horrible voice. Oh my primus, it was Blitzwing all over again."

"Let GO!" And I struggled out of their grasp, ran and glared at them.

"You can stop right there 'Con!" Came the disgustingly superior tone of voice, "And come quietly. We might even lock you in the same cell with your traitor friend, if you behave nicely."

"Like Frag!" I hissed, turning to run. Another mech blocked my path, "Now just calm down a'ight? We won't hurt you."

"Oh, sure," I scoffed, "And then you won't lock me away for kicking the defect in the face. Assault. Obstruction. Resisting arrest. What else do you want to add to my list of misdemeanors?" I backed away, and I felt a servo on my shoulder.

"You just watch your vocal cords there 'Con, and-"

My right fist landed right on his fat, hideously wrong chin. Everyone was in disbelief, staring at me, and then at Sentinel, who was nursing his wound like a femme, "You little glitch-!"

"Don't touch me Auto-_scum_!" I spat, "Or so help me, not even an expert medic will be able to put you back together again when I done with you!"

One of the jets-the blue one- made a grab for me, and I shot up into the sky and ran away.

-----

"ohslagohslagohslagohslag…!"

"THERE YOU ARE!" I landed on him and we rolled a couple of times. But the effect was the same, I was happy to see him. And then I delivered a blow to his stupid aft head.

"Where were you??? Do you have any idea how worried I was-!"

I peered into his blue optics and my spark skipped.

Blue. A pure, innocent, blue.

"Wha…" I recoiled in disgust, "Who-!?"

And then my servos dug into his chassis and pulled him up so the imposter's optics looked into my now blood red ones.

"WHERE. IS. WASP?"

"Uh….." the faker blinked up at me, "In my body, I think." His voice was like _his_. Wasp's horrible, gurgle like voice that I had grown accustomed to hearing. The fragger had NO RIGHT…..

"Hey, you know I'm not Wasp? How can you tell?" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Those optics are NOT Wasp's." I snarled.

"Oh right. Why hasn't anybody else…?"

"Everybody else is stupid as pit. What did that aft head do?"

"Switched places with me! Now everyone thinks I'm him and they're trying to capture me! Primus knows why! We all know Wasp is innocent! Well, maybe not Sentinel, but still…."

"Whoa, rewind. What? You know that Wasp…. You're Bumblebee, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Hey, you look familiar. Have we met?"

No," I got up to my peds, "But you know my sister."

I flew up before he could process what I just confessed to him.

-----

Whatever that glitch-head had been planning wasn't something he informed me of. And the fact pissed me off. I guess he expected me to do flying tricks for the elite guard from now until the end of time.

Which was not PART OF THE PLAN.

But at this point, I had no idea what to do. I had half a mind to find him and his new body and demand explanations. But that would probably blow the idiot's cover.

So, at the moment, the only logical thing I COULD do was sit it out and wait to see what happens. Normally, I would call that path of action the sissy, (aka Starscream) way to go about things, but it was the smartest.

-----

His purple optics shined past them all-and I knew I was right. There were all aft-heads. His eye clashed horrible with the yellow armor, and I missed his face.

Why had I let them catch me? I don't know. I couldn't think correctly, what with Wasp pulling the ol' switcheroo on me. Part of me wondered why I didn't screw the pest over. But I knew why. Even though I had only known him for a couple of hours, I had grown fond of him.

__

And you don't like that, do you Flip ol' girl?

It was true. I didn't like the idea of it. I had never liked anybody, except for Star. It clouded judgments, and made new weaknesses.

__

But that's not all,

the voice snickered_, You hate being in the dark. Almost as much as connecting with people, and you want to wait to see how things turn out, and if he needs help._

Yes. If Wasp needed it, I would help.

__

And it will be your downfall.

Maybe.

-----

"The winner has to be Bumblebee. He's the best!" the green mech proudly announced.

Meanwhile, standing between the yellow and blue mech, I thought to myself: This has GOT to be the most single-handedly STUPIDEST thing I have EVER witnessed.

"We play winner!" the jets besides me exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh primus…." I face palmed myself.

"This is the dumbest idea I've ever hear!" Sentinel growled.

__

You and me both.

"You got a better idea?" Optimus droned back.

"Yes, I do." he turned to me, "Why not let the 'Con fess up? How 'bout it? Wanna tell us who the traitor is?"

I treated him to one of my more vicious snarls that made the jets next to me recoil.

"How many times do we have to go over this!?" the red Prime burst, "Wasp isn't a traitor. And as for this femme, she doesn't have any scrap of evidence that might suggest she may be Decepticon."

"Then why did she attack me and my crew so viciously? And she can fly. AND her and Wasp just HAPPEN to be in the same sector. A little Convenient don't you think?"

"Convenient!" I shrieked, "Oh yes, this happens to be VERY convenient. I ALWAYS wanted to be attacked by a bunch of half wits that don't even know how to swing a punch properly."

"You speak when spoken too!" he growled.

"PHVVVVVVVVTTTTTT!!!" I blew him a raspberry.

"You little-!"

"All I know is that I've NEVER seen ANY of the mechs in this room, spy or otherwise. I got separated. How many times do I have to say it before you stop throwing bogus accusations in my face? I don't know anything about this wishy-washy war you've guys have gotten yourselves into. Only thing that comes to my processor at the moment is that with each passing cycle, I'm getting more and more annoyed." I crossed my arms in a defiant manner, as the whole room stared at me in disbelief. No one had ever had the nerve to talk to Sentinel that way, except for maybe Optimus, and I was feeling a little smugly about it. Ah, the perks of being a Decepticon…..

Sentinel frowned, my fiery speech bouncing off him. Well, there had to be idiots in this world I guess… "Protecting the spy huh? You're kind just doesn't know when to quite, do you? Stubborn little-"

"Are you kidding me?" I chuckled, "I'd turn a convict in for a couple of rust sticks."

"Sentinel…" Optimus sighed.

"Well,_ whoever_ this femme is, I'm sure she has something to do with this," he mumbled.

"Despite the possibility, I don't think badgering her will solve anything. It'll probably be midnight by the time she'll tell us her name," Optimus argued, "So I think Bulkhead's idea is are only option."

We stood quietly while the game blinked on. The console would've saved us a lot of time if it just blinked GAME OVER when Wasp jumped up and tackled Bumblebee.

I groaned to myself.

Wasp had the yellow scout in a headlock, pointing his stingers to his face. Well, I had to tip my hat to him. The kid really had it in him.

"Wasp use to be good bot!" he cried, and I could finally see it. The reason for the purple optics and his determination and whatever he strived for. It laid out in front of me like a protoform's ABC book in ten inch tile letters. The desperation. The sadness.

What had his own kind DONE to him?

"Wasp use to be good bot, until Bumble-bot RUINED WASP LIFE!"

"No Wasp!" the green mech growled in a scolding tone, "You were never a good bot back then! Spy or no spy, you were always mean to me and Bumblebee! You were never good."

Anger welled up inside of me. Couldn't they see? Were they THAT blind? He didn't need a reality check. He needed someone to say 'I'm Sorry.' That green mech tore into him as if he was Styrofoam. And it was destroying him. Breaking him. Driving him to the end of unexplained madness and pushing him over a ledge he had no business jumping into. A ledge I had crossed, and I would never pull myself back out. I wanted to save him, and I'll try but I can't. Because it wasn't my business too, and it'll cut me not to. I'll do it and wish I never tried.

Wasp pushed the stinger closer to his rival's neck, stepping closer to that cliff and into a point of no return. He would not put that loaded gun down until he fired, and then it would be too late. It would be the end of him. And I would never have him back.

I clenched my eyes, and I felt a sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. I couldn't watch him make the jump. It would kill me.

And the shot was fired. And everyone yelped.

"Oh not again!" it was an irritated groan.

I opened my eyes. The lights were cut off, and I heaved a sigh of relief.

He couldn't go through with it.

Maybe he had some hope yet.

"Oh lovely," I punched the two twins next to me in the face, and I sprinted ahead of them.

-----

It was confusing. First, I had to think of him as the yellow mech, and then he went back to green and his horned helmet returned. Not really sure how it happened, but it did I was glad about it.

One thing that was worrying was the nagging feeling that they were following. Optimus and the rest of the innocent do-Gooding auto-scum might not, but Sentinel definitely would. Sometimes I had to wonder at his audacity.

When I caught up to Wasp, he continued to sprint and I kept a comfortable distance away from him to keep him from attacking. He was tense, and I couldn't blame him.

I grasped his servo.

"Trust me?"

He nodded and I held onto him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

I gripped his shoulders and I flew up, carrying him up with me. We flew and headed towards home.

-----

"Jesus, you're heavy!"

"Who?"

A pause, "Oh never mind."

The wind was cold, caressing my open circuits and making me shiver.

"Weird," I mused aloud.

"What?"

"They're not following," I turned, "You would thin the Russian tag team would be all over us. Guess I was wrong."

"Wasp find it weird to. Expected Sentinel to chase."

"That sissy won't dare follow. He'll just send the jets to catch us, in that horrendous bossy tone of his."

"Wasp still can't believe Flip-bot talk to Sarge-bot like that. Wasp wait to do that long time."

"Yeah, well, I find it freeing not having to answer to anyone. Besides, he had it coming."

"Sarge-bot convinced Flip-bot Decepticon," Wasp mused out loud, "Almost as sure as Wasp was spy. Wasp notice Serge-bot wrong often."

"Really? I didn't notice between him being in love with himself and talking about me like I wasn't there."

We both laughed. Yes, it was funny, and yes, we didn't know what was going on. It was nice, just flying around joking like a couple of mechs without any worries. I guess we were both shaken up, and we were both coping with it. Wasp had almost made that jump. I had almost lost someone to the very fate I found myself in a long time ago.

However, this was not excuse for me to drop my guard. What had happened was entirely my fault, and it just proved that stupid little voice inside of me right.

Connecting formed new weaknesses.

The burst of energy screaming threw the sky hit me in a manner of minutes.

-----

"SLAG FRAG BABY JESUS FLIP FLAGGING FICKA SLAGGA DE DOUBLE DING DONG!!!"

I strained to keep Wasp airborne, but he had suddenly became too heavy to carry and the sudden stinging in my left wing was killing me. We were losing air, and fast, "Ow ow ow ow Oooooh you will not believe how many head I want to tear off in a fit of insanity and pain stricken grief! FOOK!" I blinked away tears, and I slowly descended, "Shiiiittttt….I'm hurting." I croaked, "This fucking hurts. Why am I not worrying about who shot me? I just know my wind is experiencing aft-lancing pain no one will ever know. FUCK!" I grimaced hard, "Do you trust me still?"

Wasp looked at me with an expression that said nothing less than, 'HORRIFIED.'

"Okay," and I dropped him.

-----

It hadn't been my intention to startle him, but we were only a couple of feet from the ground and he weighed too much. My wing couldn't support the both of us, and quite frankly, I think it was time I scored some more trust points from him. Even it I ever was going to wake up and get on with my job.

I finally willed myself to look past the pain and turn around. Sure enough, the tag team flew at a startling speed towards me. Wincing, I aimed my cannon and fired.

A ray of blackish red spurted out of my servos and about fourteen of the twenty shots made contact. Personally, I was ashamed of myself. I almost never missed.

The jets caught up to me, some of their joints cackling with electricity from where I had hit them.

I didn't have enough time to raise a servo before they swiped their first hits my way and in no time I found myself falling towards the Earth.


	4. Chapter 4

I expected a berth, or maybe even the bars to the stockades. I DID NOT expect to wake up dangling upside down from a tree. My stealth mode had terminated. My wings stood permanently on my frame, not small and straight, but curved and pointed, like a Seeker's. my eyes were blood red now, the innocent blue gone. The Decepticon insignia pulsed red on my chest. My legs and arms were longer, less bulky, my car mode gone. My servos were claws. One optic was offline and the other cracked. My left wing burnt our, my right elbow pulled out of its joint. Energon rand down my lips in a solitary pink river, tree limps impaled my shoulder and left knee.

It had taken less than 1.4 seconds for me to come to terms of my sordid state. When I realized I was ALIVE was when the pain hit me in a wave of fire.

And then I screamed.

-----

There was a medic on the Nemesis that I had taken a liking too. I can't recall his name, but I remembered he often told me he was an expert on how to tell which mechs he should pay the most attention too mad the ones he wouldn't even bother with. He never really explained how he could do this, but one sentence clung to my processor like a life line as I was reduced to a pile of quivering bolts.

It was this:

_DEAD MECHS DON'T SCREAM! DEAD MECHS DON'T SCREAM!_

It was against my own personal coding to EVER show my weaknesses at any time- especially if the enemy was around, whether it be Auto-scum or Blitzwing. At the moment- I told my step little code of conduct to go fuck itself and I screamed with utter abandon.

'_PRIMUS LET SOMEONE FIND ME! SOMEONE! ANYONE! I DON'T WANT TO OFFLINE! I DON'T I DON'T I DON'T! DON'T LET ME OFFLINE!'_

I had started with a series of "Help! Help! Primus it hurts!" and then I started babbling incoherently when the pain took hold of my processor and turned it off. I shouted things like, "I FUCKING HATE SENTINEL!" and "STARSCREAM'S GAY FOR MEGATRON!" and "I KNEW IT WAS BLITZING THAT PAINTED THE MESS HALL RED! I KNEW! I KNEW!"

I confessed it all, from Lugnut's crush to my sister's pranks to Starscream's hideout and that I kind of liked Blitzwing when he wasn't a hothead or fucking crazy in the head, and that yes, I was the one that fired that missile at you Megatron, I am SO FUCKING SORRY!

Other stuff that was buried inside me blurted away. Secrets I had forgotten myself.

"I'M FAKE!" I screamed, "I'M FAKE! I'M FAKE! PRIMUS DAMN IT ALL! I'M FAKE!"

And the last thing that would shock me out of awareness from my surroundings sprung forth from my lips and I immediately wanted to take it back.

"ILOVEWASP!" came the choked cry, "I LOVE WASP! THE PEST! THE INSECT!_ CHEW ON THAT YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! I WIN!"_

_-----_

"_Flip-bot. Wake up please."_

A grumble and a loan moan was the only sound I had the energy to make.

"_Please wake up. Wasp not know what to do. What Wasp do?"_

"quiet…" I groaned.

"_Yes?"_

"quiet…"

"_Okay…"_

Silence befell us both as I sunk back into my dark place. My dark place was somewhere you didn't want to be. Sometimes I was irritated and ignored you. Sometimes I picked up anything I could grasp and throw it at you, smashing it to pieces. Sometimes I laughed. But mostly I screamed.

This time I just cried.

And it was all I could ask for.

-----

I had to face it, sooner or later. Had to face whatever lied past my offline optics. I wanted to pretend. Just lie here, optics closed, and pretend that I was somewhere else.

But then there was _his_ voice and _his_ pleas. And I couldn't ignore it anymore.

I woke up.

-----

"Flip-bot explain."

I had an out-of-body experience at that moment. I was looking down at the black and red femme below me, with her Decepticon Insignia and big blood-red eyes. Her helm dark grey, shielding the young silver face. Wings spayed behind her and she just sat on her haunches, staring at the strange green mech before her.

And she knew she didn't have an answer he would like.

"Wasp…."

"Flip-bot explain. Flip-bot tell Wasp why Flip-bot DECIEVE Wasp. Flip-bot WILL tell the truth. Or else Wasp will SCRAP."

The femme couldn't help it. It was part of who she was, and there was a piece of her that wouldn't take being threatened by Auto-scum. And he _was _Auto-scum. So the femme smirked and laughed, "_You? _You couldn't teach that Auto-bot BUMBLER a lesson, and you think you're a match for _ME?"_

"Flip-bot WATCH what Flip-bot SAYS. Or else Wasp will do something Wasp will NOT regret," he snarled, activating those stingers and aiming them at her faceplates. The femme scoffed, "Put those DAMN things away kid. You don't have it in you. I thought you did, but I was wrong. You're just like the rest of your pathetic lot. Weak, never willing to take that final step."

"Flip-bot tell the truth now! What did Flip-bot want with Wasp! TELL THE TRUTH!" he screeched, "No lies! No more lies to Wasp!"

The femme smiled a poisonous smile, one that she had shown to many a victim.

….not many lived to talk about it….

And she said words that would be the final trigger.

"_Make me…."_she hissed.

He striked.

Flip didn't even have enough time to let her eyes widen.

-----

I woke up in dread and with an ache in my spark. What kind of monster was I?

"Flip-bot?"

He was still here. When I had done so many terrible things, he was still here.

"Flip-bot tell truth now. Wasp want truth, or else Wasp sting," he glared, "Flip-bot should note that Flip-bot not in state to back-talk. Still hurt from fight with funny-talking jets."

"Okay," the words fell, "Okay, I'll tell you everything. Just keep those things away from me. One more shock won't do me any favors."

He persisted, holding those horrible things up, and motioned for me to get on with it.

"I'm a Decepticon. My name is Flip. I have a sister named Stargazer. We are both seekers. In training anyway. My module is a F-35 Harrier Jet. So is my sister. We were both fitted with BMW car modules in order to spy on the Autobots, considering we aren't very known yet, as you can probably tell from the Autobot's attitude towards me. I serve directly under Lord Megatron for Recon missions and assassinations. My most recent mission is now. You are my mission. The Decepticon Shockwave has sent me to murder you."

It all came out like I had wanted to get it out for a millennia. It was all a blur, and I could hardly hear myself. It all sounded as if I was underwater. But Wasp heard it.

Every word.

"Murderer…." he choked out, "Murderer…."

"Yes."

"How…how many…?"

I let out a sad chuckle, "Honestly?" I chocked on a sob, "Honestly? Honestly, I have no idea. Sometimes…I just loose it. Maybe a hundred? Maybe a thousand? A million? Who knows…."

"Why…haven't…..you….."

"Hey, you didn't talk in third person…that's good…" I struggled.

"Answer the question please."

"I….I…."

"Wasp waiting."

"I….."

He glared, probing me with those purple optics, and I couldn't take that calculating glare.

"Fffffeck! You know what? I don't have an answer for that. Maybe, I just like you okay? Maybe I just wanted to be somewhere without the thought of killing hanging over my stupid head! You're just a minor setback! I little detour. I want to be with someone where the feeling is just mutual. You don't care and neither do I. Yes, I used you. I'm fucking evil, aren't I? But in a couple of cycles you won't even fucking remember. You're just a decoy away from the less than perfect life I've been leading. I could've ended it any time I felt like it. You little pest. You Insect. You're lucky I'm fragging disabled! You have no idea how fast I could offline you if you pissed me off. You'd be frying in pit ten seconds before you figured out what happened!"

"LIE! Part of Flip-bots plan to hurt Wasp. Flip-bot promise not to hurt Flip-bot. Wasp thought…." he snarled, "Flip-bot was FRIEND. Try to kill Wasp. Lie! Murder! Decepticon glitch!" He loomed over me, "Wasp should SCRAP for all Flip-bot has done. Hurt Wasp. HURT!"

"Yes…hurt…" I nodded, "It doesn't change anything you know. You were screwed. Life can be like that. You have to learn to deal with it…but you just CAN'T can you? Having your dreams crushed like they did?"

With every word I uttered, it only served to make him angrier. In this moment, I couldn't really tell if this was really a bad thing. Maybe he really would kill me.

"I had it easy. Maybe I can say that because I was built to deal with the shit I was put through. But it was easy. Can't deny that. I had SOMEONE that cared enough about me. But what I went through and what you went through can't be weighed on a scale. If I say I had it easy, only I could be the judge of that. So what about you? Are you going to freely state that your life has been one big fuck-up the minute things went downhill? Or are you just going to shrug it off like it was a smudge on an otherwise spotless record. Cuz that's the way it could be you know. Just a smudge. Just a blemish."

Wasp hissed, "Flip-bot awfully philosophical today."

"Well, what can I say? I've been cooped up in my processor so long, I like to get things out."

Wasp lowered the stingers, "Wasp not forgive."

"No, I guess you won't. I didn't entirely expect you to, but that's that."

Wasp mused for a minute, and then he sat next to me, utterly at ease with the fact that I was in no position to harm him.

"Talk." was the singular command.

So talk I did.

-----

In the time span of less than three hours, the little insect knew everything I had wanted him to know about myself, and I knew quite a bit about him too.

Grew up in a decent neighborhood that was mostly comprised of neutrals and Autobots. His creators were neutrals, and when he was a sparkling he got picked on a lot for it. He hasn't heard from his creators since he told them he was going to enlist as an Autobot. They were nuets because they didn't WANT him to be apart of the war. Never had many friends, but he liked the solitude. He worked hard at whatever job that was given to him. Lost his virginity to a giggly blue mech. Her name was Alistar, apparently, and she was stupid and naive and he had taken advantage of her niceness. Despite his hulking attitude as a show-off bully, he strived to be the best. He admitted he never liked the personality he often delt out, but it was something to be done. He would never allow someone to walk all over him. First real friend was a mech named Ironhide, and together they enlisted into the Autobot Boot Camp. He never liked Bumblebee, because he was a klutz that thought he didn't have to work as hard as he did to get what he wanted. And that's when things went bad.

Even with some coaxing, he didn't tell me what it was like in the stockades. I guess it's because he didn't want to relive them. And then he would turn on me and ask me why had life been so easy to me. And I had to tell him.

My sister Stargazer was a bigger screw-up than Bumblebee. I could say that honestly. Her life was all about the shits and giggles. She joined because she wasn't fan of the Autobots, and she didn't think the red insignia would go well with her armor. Yes, she is that stupid. Wasp looked at me in disbelief. And as I began to describe my sister…her big goggle-eyed green optics and her green armor and grey wings and how utterly SMALL she was, did he see why I didn't seem to want to shut up about her.

I loved her. She was mine and no one else could have her. Even when she blew up our control room and crashed landed every single ship she piloted and always failed to hit the enemy but had not problem hitting us, past it all, I loved her. The smallest seeker in training, Stargazer, utter fuck-up. Pissed off Megatron at every turn, best friends with Blitzwing, the only Decepticon that had the GALL to talk to Starscream the traitor, fell in love with an Auto-bot, and almost SCRAPPED the mech who killed him.

"And where were you?"

The question had a sting to it.

"I was…inside her processor."

"_Inside?"_

"You heard right. My sister was sparked with a malfunctioning processor and I was the glitch. The bi-product. I wasn't born. I was _made. _Out of spare parts. And I was….worse than I am now. Much worse. I usually surfaced when Star suffered an extreme blow to the head. Megatron was…impressed with me. I killed a lot of Autobots on the battle field. But I was too unstable for them to just allow me to take over Star's processor. For her to lay dormant inside of me. But I wouldn't, even if I could. I loved her then too," I chuckled, "She really is a bastard son of a glitch, but she's the reason I'm alive. Eventually, they found a way to create a new body from spare parts of mechs that had offlined before me. She split her spark, and they gave me a more…stable personality. And here I am." I muttered. "Here I am. Quite frankly, I don't think I'm that much better than my old seven levels of bat shit crazy self. I was pretty fucked. And that's why my designation is Flip. Because I'm the flip side of my sister's malfunctioning bi-polarism."

"So, Flip-bot's life is easy is because she got to be asleep though all the bad parts?"

"Yeah. Life is easier when you don't have to face Megatron's angry face every day." I smiled, "You can also say I was made specially for it."

There was an awkward silence, "You lucky son of a glitch," he snarled playfully.

I burst out laughing, and I didn't stop. I was afraid I would start crying.

-----

The next morning, I could feel my limbs were less numb. And most of the energon was gone from my armor. The glitch polished my armor too. I hadn't been this shiny in joors. I could move around without much pain, and my wings were a little operational.

I felt fixed, with the combined force of my slow but handy self-repairing system and Wasp's careful tending.

This is when I noticed he was gone. Terror striked me.

Where had he run off too?


	5. Chapter 5

Wandering away from the cave, I searched for him. Where had that little pest gone off too now? The forest was big, even in my size, and it was unnerving. I couldn't tell where I was going, and if I flew, I might miss Wasp due to the trees. So I walked. Two, three hours might have passed. But I found him.

Covered in mud, he walked up to me with a dirty wet flowers in his hand. It was a disfigured bouquet, with flowers you would never want to send to loved one. There was a thristle, a poppy, an orange lily, and a sprig of deadly nightshade. Baring the symbols of death, hate, and evil.

He handed them to me, "Wasp hate Flip-bot." he snarled.

I took the flowers. And in what may have been a momentary lapse of sanity I begged, _"Kiss me."_

He seemed to think about it for a minute with a shocked look on his face. He shook his head.

No.

"Please?"

Another shake. Another rejection.

Slight pain struck me, "Alright." I turned away, "Thank you. For the flowers. And for not slagging me."

"Whatever." he turned to leave as well, "Wasp going back. To scrap Bumble-bot. Wasp not want Flip-bot to follow. Wasp want Flip-bot to leave. Wasp not want to see Flip-bot again." he snarled that last past, "Wasp never want to see Flip-bot. Next time Wasp see Flip-bot, Wasp will slag."

"You lie," I laughed, "You're a liar if you say you never want to see me, because you can't wait for the opportunity to beat the shit out of me." I smiled, "That's okay though, if you hate me. A lot of mechs do. For killing their loved ones. It's something I have to deal with. I'm an assassin that has to hide from assassination attempts. The irony amuses my sister. And I'm rambling. I guess I can't let you go just yet."

"When will be a good time for Flip-bot?"

"Hmmmm," I smiled again, "How about one kiss?"

Wasp radiated hatred, "Good-bye Flip-bot."

I watched as he stole himself away from me.

I hated myself for letting him get away with it.

-----

He might not want to see me. But I saw him. I followed him into the city, just to make sure he was alright. I think he might have caught glimpses of me, and if he did, he ignored it. He transformed into car mode, and he drove. He banged along other cars and rode on sidewalks. Where he was going? I don't think he even knew. So I watched him driving along insanely as if he had a specifically shitty day. That was the state I left him in. One more little push by me, he might make that jump.

I flew away, going towards the bay. A little sight-seeing wouldn't kill me. I should go fly to the moon base. Screamer might still be there, and if I didn't piss him off too badly, he might spare me some energon for the trip back home.

Report back to the Deceptions? If Shockwave found out I didn't carry out my mission, he'll shit bricks and beat me with them. I just needed to get away. Being with Wasp wasn't enough. I had to pretend for a little while longer before I could face going back.

-----

The waves rolled and crashed under me. The moon was right square in the middle of the sky. It was time. I didn't feel like flying around Earth's orbit looking for it. So I shot up, and the waves created little eddies under me.

I climbed the sky with my beat up wings, and once I reached a good distance in the sky, I stopped to take one last glimpse at the city of Detroit at night. I wanted to see it's bright lights. Of course, with my violent streak, karma decided to pay me back for every thing I had ever done and a Predecon hit me with the combined force of a freight train and an angry Lugnut.

In my banged up state, it hurt a lot more than it should, and I looked up to see the air-bot that hit me so I can tear off its wings when I got better and my spark stopped.

Wasp was struggling and screaming in the Predecon's grasp.

I hit the icy water and I made a solemn vow, 'You. Will. PAY.'

-----

It was a struggle to reach the surface of the water with the waves crashing around me, but I did it and I knew I had to get out quick. If I was water-logged enough, I will most definitely start experiencing many technical problems. My wings activated with a splutter and I was off, shooting towards the sky, surprising a dangling Sentinel along the way.

Now, I had a lot of other important things on my processor than an extremely annoying Prime, but I had to admit, the sight of him dangling under the combined Jettwins, I couldn't stop myself from laughing hysterically. Even in this situation, I couldn't deny that it was the funniest thing I had ever seen.

-----

Sentinel swore angrily behind my back, "Stop! Stop! I order you to stop as head of the Elite guard and a Prime you stinkin' little 'Con!"

I flied along side the Jettwins, while Sentinel shouted angrily ordering them to fire at me, "Does he actually think I'll stop?" I smirked.

"No," their simultaneous voices responded, "Cops just have to say that."

I chuckled and shot ahead of them.

There was someone I had to see at the island ahead of us.

-----

Me and the Twins were left behind as Sentinel bravely stormed into the hidden cave. I say bravely lightly, as me and the Jettwins were given the duty of distracting the guards. I snarled and told the aft-head I wasn't going to take any orders from some lame Auto-scum, but the bird thing caught my attention, and he had some overdue repayments he needed to pay. So he went off to hide behind the bushes and I was stuck with the twins with the speech impediment.

"Diversion? What kind of diversion?" the yellow one asked.

"Maybe we blow something up?" the blue one answered.

"Oh, good. I am liking diversion."

I stuck behind, waiting for the bird to come out into the open. He stalked towards me, and sprinted forward, and nailed the little bastard with a hard left hook. The bird spun and fell flat on its face, knocked out for the count.

"Little one very tough. One hit make flying one sleepy," one of the jets commented behind me.

"I AM GRIMLOCK!" one predecon roared.

"Please pay attention while I making with distraction," one jet shot at him. I sprinted towards the cave opening. Revenge was paid in full. Now onto the rescue mission.

I ran down the silver halls and when I reached the door at the end of the tunnel I heard Wasp screaming.

I never wanted to hear that noise ever again.

-----

The door slide open, and there Sentinel was. Having a chatty conversation with a tall slim purple femme. She smirked at my presence, and I felt her calculating eyes look me up and down. I knew already I wasn't much of a sight. Even through the nicks and bents of my armor, I was a short, average femme. But her gaze seemed to tell me that she was superior because she was beautiful. I snarled. Stuck-up bitch. Sentinel was yelling at me about being outside and helping the defects distract the Dino-bots outside. I ignored him.

The machine on the opposite side of the room is what gained most of my attention. Wasp was screaming even harder now. The machine cackled and smoked, close to an overload. And it scared the hell out me.

"WASP!" I shrieked, making my way towards the machine. The femme grabbed me, and pinned me down with her foot. I grunted.

"No need to interrupt an experiment in the works," she tsk'd.

I snarled, "Take your foot off me bitch, before I tear the fucking thing off!"

She laughed, and I wanted to shove a sharp object down her throat.

"Just watch and wait for the end of the show. I'm sure you'll like the ending." she snickered, "I'm sure nothing bad will happen to your friend."

Another one of Wasp's screams pierced the air.

"What the fuck do you call that!?" I growled, "Take him out! Take him out! You fucking bitch! I'll take that thing you call face and turn it inside out." I scrambled out from under her. "Oh, by the way Sentinel, thanks for the fucking help out there!" And I sprinted towards the machine, banging at the glass doors that didn't seem to be made of glass. Wasp's hands were banging on the door.

"WASP!" I fisted my servos and proceeded to punch the offending door away, "I'll get you out! I'll get you out! I swear to Primus I'm going to get you out!" I pulled away, punching through the wall and wrenching a pipe out of the works. I lifted the pipe over my shoulder, and swung away.

"OPEN. YOU. FUCKING. DOOR! OPEN! OPEN! WASP! WASP! I SWEAR I'LL GET YOU OUT! I SWEAR! OPEN! OPEN! FUCKING OPEN! PRIMUS OPEN!" I chanted. But doors don't care when you scream at them. There wasn't so much of a scratch on the damn thing.

The femme behind me smirked, "Your attempts are futile. I made those doors myself. They'll only open when I tell them too."

I cackled behind my tears. Big mistake to tell me that bitch.

"Ah, well then." I smiled ravenously, "You'll be considerably easier to break than these doors, huh?" I stalked forward.

Her smiled dropped, and she arched, taking up a battle position. If you had heard the pure white hot acid dripping off every word I said, you would've known I was serious.

But a large quake under my feet had me flying forward off the ground and sprawled on the floor.

"The generator! There's too much energy! It's going to overload!" the femme shrieked.

I turned just in time to see the machine collapse.

"NOOO!!!!" I snarled, and sobbed, out.

What flew out was an image that would haunt my recharges from now until the day I would offline.

The Wasp was dead. Sometime in that infinite moment when the generator had stopped working and in my useless cries, he died. The spider had taken him away from me. The thing that came out instead was something altogether different from anything I had ever seen. It was, at the same time, neither wasp nor Wasp, and then, at the same time, both wasp AND Wasp. It was an abomination. An organic and machine, metal and flesh, offline and alive, breathing and dead. Not tied together, but infused, merged in a sick, twisted metamorphosis, unified into something new. It created something that should not exist.

I dry heaved and rolled over onto my knees, staring at the tile floor. I could not move.

His voice rang out when Sentinel shouted the very question that had crossed my head before I realized what it was.

_**"WASP NOT THING. WASP UPGRADE. WASP… WASPINATOR."**_

"What did you do to him?"

"I made him like me."

And then the femme and Sentinel started to bicker at each other, and I said, in a tinny little voice that couldn't be me, but was.

"….Wasp…?"

The techno-organic that wasn't Wasp but was Wasp turned to look at me.

_**"WASP SAID HE NO WANT SEE FLIP-BOT."**_

"I…know….but…I heard you screaming." The words reverberated off the wall, "I heard you screaming."

_**"FRIEND MADE WASP BETTER. STONGER. WASP IS WASPINATOR."**_

I dry heaved again, and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't fucking _breathe._

"What….?" I sniffed, "What? You think you're better? Who cares if you're better? I wanted you the way you were!"

**_"WASPINATOR WANTED THINGS TOO. LIFE CAN'T BE EASY ALL TIME."_**

He threw my own words back at me and I couldn't take it anymore. I sprinted away from the room, leaving it all behind.

I could do it this time.

The mech I was leaving behind wasn't Wasp.


	6. Chapter 6

"_You see? She's just like everybody else."_

I can safely say now that Wasp was terminated, I chuckled darkly to myself, because he's dead! Truly, undeniably, dead!

Yes, Wasp was dead, and that thing had taken his place. And that wasn't supposed to happen. Wasp was supposed to be okay. I was supposed to save him and he would still hate me but I can death with that. What I couldn't handle was the fact that he was gone.

It wasn't what I had wanted, but the fact of the matter is, I couldn't have it. Because that's the way life it. Life is a hard, bitter bitch that takes it out on the rest of us because things didn't go her way either.

It wasn't what I wanted, but life never gives you what you want. It plays cruel, twisted tricks on you because it cheats and doesn't play fair. It wasn't fair, and NOTHING EVER IS.

-----

"Are they looking distracted enough for you brother?"

"Big one, still wiggles a little."

MOVE IT!

Unfortunately, they were fast enough to catch me run out of the cave. I struggled and kicked, desperate to get away. No more detours, no more decoys, I needed to get away before

everything got too out of control again. I needed to run away.

"No, Sentinel say we keep close optic on you," they both scolded me, "Decepticon sign on chest, can't hide that one."

"Leggo," I growled, "I have to get out of here. I can't be here. I have to go. I have to leave."

And the roar from inside the cave pulled me back to the reason for my departure.

I was a scream. IT'S Scream. HIS Scream. Underneath the abomination, it was still Wasp. And he was in pain. Pain? Hadn't they done enough to him? Couldn't the stupid fragger EVER catch a break?

"LET GO!" I snapped out of the Jets' grasp only to catch the spider run out of the cave, followed by the Wasp.

Electricity coursed through his body, sending him through waves upon waves of pain. He flinched as every spark flew, and I knew. He wasn't going to last much longer.

"Wasp," I flew up to grasp his face, he turned away from my hands and struggled to get away from me. He did not want to look at me.

"Waspinator know that Flip-bot no like Waspinator. Rather have Wasp. Think Waspinator freak. Waspinator know."

"I know," I growled, "Look at me. Does it hurt? Where does it hurt?"

He turned his head again, and the energy around us got worse. There was a hiss of static in the air. Everybody was yelling.

"GET HER AWAY FROM HIM!" I heard the spider scream, "His transwarp energy! It's reaching critical level! It's unstable!"

I touched his face. It was soft and alien. Cold, not warm. No heat of metal or a spark. Only heat from the tiny bursts of static. Gone. Dead. Dead. Dead.

"Wasp…" I held him, ignore everything. There is nothing. There is only him.

"Wasp…does it hurt?"

"_YESSSSSSS."_

A pair of claws sank into my sides, and I cried out. I was no longer anchored to the Wasp. The spider had taken him.

The last expression I saw cross Wasp's face was an expression of surprise and of utter pain. He clutched at his head and the spider claimed him in her web. Someone grabbed me and I scream.

There is a large ringing in my ears and I can feel the fire. I am catapulted backwards and I feel the ground crash under me.

And then there is nothing.

_-----_

"…_does it hurt?"_

"_YESSSSSSS._

…_..It always hurts."_

_-----_

_The wasp is dead._

_-----_

"_Kiss me?"_

_-----_

"_Flip-bot explain."_

"_Make me…."_

_-----_

"_Trust me?"_

_He nodded and I held onto him like he was the most precious thing in the world._

_-----_

"_Wasn't going to hurt you. Don't see why you're so fragging tense, stupid insect."_

"_You sneak up on Wasp! Try to hurt Wasp! Chase Wasp, when Wasp want to be alone! Leave Wasp alone!"_

"_You attacked me first." _

_-----_

_Find him._

_Two words. Simple. Insignificant. _

_Two words that changed everything._

_-----_

I woke up before they did. Gasping up from a nightmare, I had to see if it was true. If it was real.

And too my complete and utter horror, it was. The last place he had touched in this world turned black. I dragged the ground around in my servos, clenching my fists and slamming them to the ground. I was unaware of them, coming up to look at me, unaware that my fingers were breaking due to my harsh treatment, unaware that the sacred sand was damaged under my ministrations, unaware that I was crying as I scarred the ground.

There was a buzzing by my ear that made me aware. A small yellow Wasp perched on my arm in mid-slam, and rested contently there. I did not move until it decided to buzz away.

I did not resist when the two jets came to take me away. I did not resist when they put the stasis cuffs on me. I did not resist when they locked me in the cell and threw away the key. I think I was laughing too much to notice. Laughing….or screaming.

I was trapped again. Like when I was trapped inside my sister's processor. Like when I use to try to break the chains that bound me so I could escape. Like when I cursed and screamed for them to let me out, but Primus did not relent. Like when I did break my chains, but not because they decided to let me out, but because I was strong enough to break free.

But it's different now. I do not break my chains. I leave them on. And the monsters? They're more real here. It's just a matter of time before they run that scan on me, looking to see if I was programmed against my will. And they will find that small blue chip. And they'll remove it. And then it's only a matter of time before the monsters come out.

….I do not mind being a monster anymore. A friend of mine pointed it out, but it did not bother me much. He still looked at me, and talked to me. He did not want to be near me, not because of the monster, but because I had hurt him for reason of my own. Using him for my own use like the spider had. Playing a little game I didn't know I could lose and not once questioning if I would feel sorry about it later, or what price that would have to be fulfilled. But I had loved. I had loved and that is enough for me.

-----

The mech sits opposite me, and I do not face him. I sit on the chair with my knees pulled up to my chest as I face the wall. He does not care about me. He asks me to tell him everything I know.

I know about monsters, and that Blitzwing sets off fire alarms when he happens to pass one by, and the lead singer to the human band Flyleaf, and that Starscream has died more that eighty-nine times each solar cycle, and that you should not push buttons at random, Megatron has a rubber ducky, and Stargazer got her name by flying too close to the Betelgeuse and melted almost all of her armor, and that painting my armor black does not mean I have a death wish and that Sentinel is a complete aft-hole, and large amounts of high-grade energon will only erase problems for a little while, and I kind of liked the Jettwins and I wished they were my little brothers.

And, I loved a small, half-crazy, purple-eyed mech named Wasp that was screwed over repeatedly for all the wrong reasons. I also know he can still take my spark and make it hurt even after I had killed him.

I do not look over at the mech.

"I'll start with two words."


	7. Prolouge: Wasp

They way she had looked at me.

It was a look I could not forget.

She was an enigma within herself. A maze, a confusing, swirling mass of chaos of a femme that would, and could, break me and not loose any sleep over it.

She had looked so angry, so lost in her own little world when she looked at me that first time. She had not wanted to be there, and she made it clear with her slanting eyes and pouty sneer. She was a minor inconvenience. A horrible nightmare I didn't know I could have.

I don't know why I had let her near me. After being alone for so long….and I couldn't trust anyone. Not anymore. Not after what they had done to me. What they had all done to me.

She had come to me with ignorance and false smiles and then I realized. As pathetic as it was to say, I had become starved for affection. She could be so unbearably ugly, but she would look at me and I craved her touch. I missed femmes. I wanted soft lips and small hands trailing up my chassis. So desperate for contact, I could be sated with a simple brush of servos or her body bumping slightly, ever so slightly, against me. Not only that, but I wanted her to talk to me. I wanted her to know me.

I was selfish, and I knew it, but after being cooped up in that hell, I wanted to be greedy. I had let her come with me.

And then there was only her. Her angry glares and her deceiving smiles. Smiles that pained her. She glowed with such hate I believed it would turn the universe to ash at a moment's notice. Once I had pressed my servo against hers, an awkward hand hold, and she turned around a punched me in the jaw. My fantasies had been dashed. She did not crave touch. In fact, the more time I spent around the dysfunctional little psycho, I came to the conclusion she was disgusted by it.

I kept to myself after that. And the more I ignored it, the more I grew back into my cold interior. The femme was short. Short and gangly and not pretty. She could not be pretty.

Afterwards, when that whole stupid ordeal with the fragging pest that had ruined my life, when she put her hands on me and pitifully saved my life, I brushed it off. All the feelings I wanted to feel about her were brushed off and I'm glad it happened.

Because when I had found her, found her half-dead and screaming her vocals out about some crazy slag and that Decepticon insignia shining brightly on her chassis, I did not have to feel sadness. Anger, but no sadness. And when she was on the cave floor, bucking helplessly and coughing up energon, that side buried in me remerged. That side that I had thought died when they put the cuffs on me and threw me in a cell and forgot all about me, that part of me that was good and happy emerged and I had to save her. She was a dirty, stinkin', lying, _cheat_, but I had to save her. I had to because I could not sink that low, because I was not a Decepticon and I was not a traitor, and I was innocent and I had been telling myself that for years, and I needed to do it. Needed to do it because this was the very thing I had wanted to be all my life.

I could remember this clearly.

I can remember gently touching her face, her distorted grey faceplates, and I caressed her because I knew she would hate it but I didn't care. It was what I had wanted, and I lowered myself onto her and I brushed my servos against her, and she had opened, and I gasped when I saw her. All of her. Her bright red spark with glowing embers and gold entombed inside of her, and I recall wondering why Primus would lock this beautiful thing away from the rest of the world.

I lowered myself closer to her small, broken body. And she was hurting. Hurting, bucking, whimpering, and I wanted for all the world to make it stop.

We merged.

I could see it. All of it. All of her sadness and her hatred.

There had been coldness and darkness. And she was confined, reaching for the light, reaching for it but

never breaking free.

And there was screaming and screaming. Horrible, screeching wails in mourning. And laughter. Cackling, evil laughter. And fury and what?

Blood.

There was a magenta mech with an orange chassis and wings, and he yelled and he scowled and he

Had kissed

And used.

And betrayed.

And fell and fell and fell

And then there was a large silver mech, doting on her and smiling and being

Father?

And then there was the pain, the stares. The catcalls and her standing and protecting and laughing and there was…..

Sister.

I could see a green, wide-eyed femme and I chocked because I wanted to cry.

She was soft, and smiles, and hesitant kisses on her cheek. She was laughing and

'_Sissy, you have to see this! This femme's armor defies gravity!'_

And

"**Star, Megs is going to kill you when he figures out you blew up the control room!"**

And

"_Sissy, please. Stop. Don't do this anymore."_

She was soft

She was warm

She was laughter

She was kindness

She was weird

She was blood.

She was something…. something _loved._ Something so precious I could feel the need to protect her. To die for her.

Loved.

Love in the simplest, purest way.

I broke away and I ran out of the cave as fast as I could.

I couldn't. I couldn't help but love her.

But she made it impossible to.

I stayed by her side for….weeks it seemed. I would sometimes plead to her. Begging for her to wake up. I needed to talk. Needed to touch. Needed something to hate.

She woke up, and I began to hate.

Like I said.

She was impossible to love.

I asked her anyway. Even though I knew. I asked her because I wanted someone to finally tell me the truth. She did. As best as she could, she told me the truth. And when she told me about the murders…..I felt sick.

I had sensed something darker than simple war crimes or getting angry. I saw the careful planning behind her attacks, the thrill of the hunt, laughing at their fears, doing it just because she _felt_ like doing it. Even after the Decepticons. Even when they were all lost. When I was trapped like an animal, she walked the streets of Cybertron and preyed on the innocent.

She picked them out as if they hers to take, when they weren't hers at all.

And she was so scared, so broken. So disgusted with herself when she told me all she could. But I could see it in her eyes. She didn't do it for herself. Didn't do it for only herself.

She did it for her sister.

When she told me in detail on how she came to be, and how she was never sparked, never born but simply existed, I finally understood.

Flip was half of a person. Only half. She was anger and guilt and rage and sadness and hurt. She was what her sister didn't want. What her sister had repressed. And Flip took it all. Simply took and never gave back because she needed to protect her. Protect the femme she so lovingly called Star. Protected her like a creator that had to shield their sparkling from the ugliness of the real world.

And this is the moment I became scared.

Because what would happen once her sister was ready to see all that ugliness?

I left after that thought.

I left so I can think all of this over. All of it. From my decision to join the Elite guard to Bumblebee and Longarm and the stockades. It had all seemed so clear. So logical, what I had to do.

Revenge.

And then she came into my life and screwed everything up.

She was my example. It was like Primus was telling me….showing me….what would happen if I went through with it. I would end up like her. Hating and never letting anyone else see what it was like on the inside. Covering up her anger with small sad smiles and pretending her life wasn't tragic. Just losing control when I felt like it.

And they way she had looked at me when she let it out. Everything. From her sparking and her sister and her killings and the Decepticons and me. The way she had looked at me.

I think she just might be in love with me.

So I left her that night. I left because she fell into my world and changed everything.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't want her to love me. I wanted her to leave and then maybe I could get on with what I originally planned. I didn't want to love her back.

In a way, I guess I could say we were perfect for each other. She didn't know how to love and I didn't want to be loved.

I remembered something about plants. Plants meant things.

I picked her some hate plants and I hoped that would be enough.

It wasn't.

She found me and she looked so torn down.

Like she didn't know what to do without me.

Two slagging weeks.

It had been only two slagging weeks, and she wasn't even awake for half of it. And we were already messed up because of each other.

She didn't know. Didn't know what I did to save her. And I hoped she never found out, because the only thing that would make our connection more permanent was the deal sealer she tried to pull.

"_Kiss me"_

When she was torn down and desperate, she could be pretty. I had my share of them, desperate femmes writhing against my touch, but they were so far away now, the memories fading, I forgot what it felt like.

This was the different sort of desperate.

She was angry and sad, hateful and full of spite, a killing machine with no remorse, someone who wanted to take and take, who's best friends were evil slaggers while they hung out off duty laughing and drinking, and someone who really shouldn't give a frag about me but for some reason DID.

Someone that wasn't real.

And there's no sugar coating it. She deserved better than this.

I left her again, because something inside of me wanted to be that better thing, but I couldn't.

Flip was an enigma within herself, and I couldn't deal with it. Not now.

I left and then my life ended.

Captured by that beautiful femme with curved hips and a promising smile.

I was so angry at the time. So angry with Flip, because of her lies and her desperation. Of her wrecking my logic. Of her sad smiles. Of her blood red eyes and Decepticon insignia.

But most of all.

I hated her because she loved me.

And I didn't love her.

And that HURT her.

That's what I hated the most.

I remember stepping into that chamber, and uncertainty crossed my face plates, and the beautiful femme coaxed me with a soft smile and a tilt of her waist.

I stepped in.

For a second, I felt safe.

And then, I could feel nothing but pain.

It hurt, and I screamed. I screamed and screamed and if I could I would have cried.

I collapsed and my hand clawed at the glass window, trying to burst my way out and my spark and my body felt life I was being wrenched apart from the inside out.

I felt a rush of fear, but that wasn't me.

It was her.

We were connected, bonded by trauma, and I wondered briefly if she could feel my pain, and then pain overtook me.

The last thought I had before I morphed completely, before these feeling didn't really matter anymore was her.

I thought of her. And I saw her, her face through the glass, her hand against mine. That look on her face.

The way she looked at me, with anger and fear and sorrow and pain. All for me. All of it.

She was done loving me. She was now feeling SORRY for me.

Someone was sorry for me.

I thought about, in that moment, waking up to see her face in the morning. Of servos caressing mine. Of lips and glossa brushing against each other. Of shy eyes looking into mine. Of limbs tangled together on a berth.

I thought about what we _could've _had.

If me and Flip were normal, we could've had it all.

No, scratch that.

If I wasn't stupid and stubborn and hateful and shielded and insane, we could've had it.

And then spider claimed me in her web, and it didn't matter anymore.


End file.
